Wishing you all the best things in the year to come, a year seems os long, but it is gone in a flash, seems it was just 2010 and now 2011. So I got slowed down and had time and still have time to think but less time as I can do more everyday, did 24 stair steps today, I can get down stairs, my husband also helped with getting the studio in shape and that means the sewing and the painting and other project area. Too much has accumulated and I have trouble parting with stuff. But will get it better. The floors need a good scrubbing and it just needs something and that means less stuff.
I don't make resolutions, I think Imake them everyday of my life, ones that are hardly noticed as they are not remembered the next day. So why make some now, just do what has to be done and sometimes don't do what has to be done.
This face was done in the larger journal and done BBL. What could that be.
In fact I work on them all the time, and they are very small narrow pages in this journal, they measure 3X7. The days go so fast, I have to take time out to exercise and infact I still have 3 more to do tonight. It is not easy as some of them cause stretching pain in my leg. I realize I talk about this a lot, but I can't drive, I barely do steps, and have only been out to dinner once plus therapy. My range is short or maybe it feels like a short leash. However not bored, have books, art to do, phone, computer, can do some cooking, some cleaning, and for the most part there haven't been that many nice days since I came home and we are due for ice, rain, and snow mix for the next 3 days.
I visit your blogs, admire beautiful things, feel inspired and sometimes write to you. Tomorrow I will tackle 12 steps and maybe get to sew in my studio for a while, I hope, I want to be in there.
These pages are mostly about about my denial that everything happens for a reason. Does it really, she said.
Well I am not, it is 1:45am and I feel quite awake, quite tired after a therapy session late yesterday afternoon and then to bed too early, how do you fight sleep, I just give in. So I am up journaling tracking progress, thnking, drinking water, coffee, and diet coke. It should just be the water for health and the time of night. Building strength in a leg is no small task, and how fast it is gone after an injury is alarming. You can lose up to 30% in a couple days just being in bed recovering, no wonder one has to walk back from the operating table (not quite) to their room.
Is this week odd for you? Does it feel like a time of not really knowing what to do, a little early to take down decorations, projects seem on hold till after the new Year begins, things seems a little stale. All my life it has seemed this way to me right after Christmas. This year a little different, a broken leg changes a lot of things. Still I have that feeling of limbo and really glad for journaling pages. Just a few words each day that speak to me about the feelings of the day, days before, and days to come. It doesn't have to be a lot. In face the small journal that I work in these days I can can several pages in one day. It is a book of talls and I have notposted any of the work yet. I hope I can get some of the work with the scanner it is difficult with a small book that has those wires for binding.
We are having light snow it is Ideal for beauty and the image we have in our heads of Christmas, it is not ideal for travel. the house smells of ginger/molasses cookies and that is ideal. We have the evening meal planned, it is just quiet and quite pleasant. We are not all here, one daughter and husband are not here and we miss that. It is good they are not traveling in this weather as it is more serious to the south of us.
I have not run out of angels yet, and she should get her chance on this Charistmas Eve 2010.
I am not hugely pleased with my progress in recovery, if course it is Ok I am just wanting to get to the cane and therapist think it is about 2 weeks away. That time will go fast but I want a guarantee of day and time. How silly is that? So I did a journal page, used an angel from an old woodworking book, and spoke to myself about how I felt on this particular day.
Wishing you blessings of the kind you need at this time, whatever holiday you have and look forward to celebrating I hope for you the best.
This is really a sad face, it just happened that way, mostly it is effort to make a mouth that is different and have different expressions. However it is also a Christmas sort of feeling to the work, I had cut these little trees out of a sheet of music and wanted to use one, since the painting is only 6X8 I could only use one. It is just one of those paintings where you have to make up your own story.
She is painted on a paper bag, I like that because I can iron the painting if I need to. Of course I can't get to my iron right now, someone would go get it if I asked.
The thing that is most exciting about this painting is it is not over busy, it is just an angel painting tht measures 9X6. I made some cards and I did do some digital work with the scan, but the original is just plain and it gives me pleasure just that way. Please note, not a bird or a flower. I realy love all those things in the paintings, but I have to work so hard not to have them, that is why I seem to be going on a bit.
Do you know how much I miss going out with the camera? I better go do some exercise and see if I can get stronger.
This will be the second time I did this post, this morning I saw that the post of last evening was rather messed up with 6 places to reply, I don't know why if it is computer error or human error or just messing around. We will see today how this goes.
This journal page is rather messy, I was feeling sort of low when doing it, feeling like I didn't have all my resources available to me feeling sorry for myself, feeling limited. That is what journals are for to get rid of these feelings. Sometimes I get a pretty composition, sometimes rather congested art developes, there is a feeling I have about journals, I think every page has to be pleasing, a book of pretties, that is the emotional thought, the intellectual thought is no it is a journal of thoughts and feelings and that is not always pretty. Of course there is the original page and the altered page, I do like the original best.
I have this book I staple pages into, it is a large journal and really if one wrote and filled those pages with writing it would be a novel, so paintings I may not like much go into that book along with some writing of the day, I just staple the painting to the original page in the journal. It is where I write things I wouldn't post and it is around the art not on the art. We have times in our days where we say and think things that we wish we didn't and it really does help to write them, they are deminished a bit with the writing. Just like anxiety is less with some exercise or a brisk walk.
Besides with the scattered composition of this 5X7 art it is best a journal page, it is also done on a piece of brown paper bag, it just developed with some scattered thoughts and using scraps on the table. This is the original and the altered version of scattered thoughts.
One other scattered thought, very frustrating, I see more things that need to be cleaned or tidied when I can't do them, I don't notice nearly as much when fully able.
Yesterday I was inspired by Zarana She talked about using only 3 clors and one of them white to do a face. This is humerous if your thinking about me doing this as you know I have talked about it before and have never done it. I seem to have a mind that won't let things be, can't do simple beautiful. Zorana was still the inspiration for this painting and I thank her for it because I like it. The original has 4 colors, while, ochre, gray, blue. Oh yes the touch of oxide red. The Altered painting has the same colors except I layered digitally into the background some oriental fabric, only the red of the lips show in this version.
I enjoy expirmenting with paintings that are not the best and I would probably never frame or even show to a person who wanted to choose a painting. I might show them the altered print and not original. There are times when things just don't go right, however that is the artists perception of the work, there are times and frequent times when another person likes what is not the artist's choice of best.
I even like to put these paintings together in a journal, it is not even really ajournal it is a collective grouping bound together. I have added blank pages inbetween in case I decide to write.
Today I couldn't resist doing some of that kind of art. My paintings mixed with digital art, things I will include in Christmas card writings, that is if I do that because I tend to make all sorts of things and then there they are. I won't do that I will send them I have time. These last few days I hae put enjoyment high on the list of things that I want to do.
Yes, I have always believed it, inner and outer wounds heal. The touching of materials can bring comfort, those who love fibers find great comfort in the handeling of beautiful fabrics, yarns, wool, beads, and putting things together in a form that pleases the creator is a step in feeling more whole as a person. Yesterday my daughter helped me creat a small studio upstairs, we did some sorting and tossing and she did a lot of trips up and down the stairs. I hope she believes I found great comfort in the sorting and organizing this small studio. It is a comfort to know it is there. It is a comfort to know we made some small journals out of various papers that can be filled with whatever passes over my mind.
I missed all the bloggers while gone, but what a grand gift it has been to take time and look at all the entries I had missed, it is like a grand fair,I am taking my time and hope to get some more visited today. I am savoring it a bit, taking time to look and read what you have to say. I feel really fortuntae to have this in my days right now that don't have a huge variety of things going on. Thanks and many thanks that I have these visits and visual stimulus in the day.
Todays face was done on a paper bag with a bit of napkin, watercolor crayon and watercolor pencils. It is only 4X4. The texture of the brown paper seems to grab the color off the crayons. I did this at 4am listening to the sounds of workers and patients as the stirrings of the day began. It had been a stormy night and workers were recovering from the frights that go along with icy snow covered roads. The sounds of people all needing something in these early hours, all differnt, feeling the need for assurance that we need in each day. Thinking of assurance, having enough, enough to share and give and keep. That is a lot, however the more you give or share the more you have, remarkable.
The art work of my hospital stay and stay in recovery center, continues, the temptation is so great to fix things on some of the art, I will not, I had some pain, poor light, I didn't always answer questions properly as medications do that to me. It is what it is.
Angie and I will fix a small studio in the computer room upstairs this afternoon for me to work as stairs are impossible, I have to get some strength back in the leg muscles. I can also print cards and do that sort of work here. I may send a few Christmas cards also. I am not able to do a whole lot of other stuff. I miss being downstairs a lot.
So, here I am again, home, femur heling I hope up near the hip joint. Walking slowly, I have a rod in my leg. But I can get around and with some therapy that will start soon I should be back to some speed as the winter goes along. I can't beleive this happened 16 days ago. I have had great care, good help, all one needs to mend.
I had a small amount of art supplies with me at Willow Ridge where I did some recovery till I proved I could be alone. It isn't that I grabbed some supplies as the first responders were loading me on a stretcher. I didn't dare grab any as I was saying horrible things that were pain induced, one hardly dares asks then for favors.
I decided I would work on small things at the care center and they would be for a small journal I had made, and it turned into a journal about fear, healing, recovery, and the thought process that goes along with such trauma. They are not done really well, they are what they are, they are a bout giving me comfort and distraction as I was not moving well, sleeping well, or doing anything very well at all. Isn't that funny, the journal is about wellness. Wellness of spirit along with bones, the bones won't mend well without the spirit.
Thank you for coming by, I got your messages from my daughter, I am rather amused, when one falls and breaks a major bone. the first thought or second thought or even 20th thought should not be....I will miss my blogging friends they have to know I stepped into the pit. Your messages cheered me a great deal, gave me strength to crawl from the pit.
For some days to come you will see pages from this small 4X5 journal made from manilla paper that I took with me, I used crayons and colored pencils, not paint at all. I had some glue. I made the custodians crazy with snippets of paper all over all the time.